My mother stares at me when I undress

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old. My parents ran into financial problems and they lost their home.

I had my own room but, when my parents lost their house, they had to rent a smaller place. So my sister and I decided that we will have to allow my parents to have one room and for us children to stay in one. I have two brothers who are younger than my sister and I, so we did not want them to sleep in the same room with us. My mother said that my father could sleep with the boys and all of us as women could sleep in the other room.

It is the most inconvenient situation because, since I turned 19, and my sister is 17, my mother has never seen us naked. I feel so uncomfortable changing in front of mother, and she stares at us while we are changing. I don't have a problem taking off my clothes in front of my boyfriend because he is my boyfriend, but I do have problems when my mother stares at me.

This may sound strange to you, but I wonder if my mother realises that we girls are adults. We cannot always change our clothes in the bathroom, but, when we try to change in the bedroom, she stares at us. It was not our fault why our parents lost their house. My father gambles heavily and he could not keep up with the mortgage and that is what has put everybody in trouble. I am going to college which my boyfriend is helping me to pay for. I cannot put any burden on him because he has a mother who is not well and he is taking care of her. My mother does day's work and the money is small.

Is it normal for a mother to be starring at her adult girls when they are changing? One day, my period came suddenly and I was embarrassed because my mother became aware of it and she called me worthless. From that day, I told my mother that, the first day I get a job, I am going to move out. She cursed and called me ungrateful.

S.L.

Dear S.L.,

I am sorry to hear that your parents lost their home. Gambling is a terrible disease. I hope that your father will cease his gambling habits.

It is also unfortunate that your mother is not behaving as if she realises that you are an adult. Although she is your mother, she should not stare at you, especially when you are changing your clothes. You should tell your mother that you do not believe that it is right for her to do so. Regardless how difficult it is for you, try your best to change in the bathroom. I hope that you will be able to go on your own very soon and have all the privacy that you want.

Pastor